What Happens When You Ask Four Different Guys How Good They Are in Bed

So you’ve just rounded home base with the newish guy you’re dating or you’re deep in wedded bliss. Either way, we’re sure you’ve wondered post-coital how good you are in bed (particularly in his opinion). But let’s turn the tables for a second: What if you were to ask guys how good they think they are in bed? What would they say? Would they rate their moves with a “meh” or a generous 11 on a scale of 1-10? Would their personal score line up with that of their partner?

Granted, it’s all totally subjective, and who knows how honest guys would actually be. But as a fun experiment, we asked four random guys to tell us how they think their skills measure up—and their responses are pretty entertaining.

“I think I’d give myself a solid 6. I want to say I’m capable of a higher rating, but right now I’m not in the best physical shape, and so I tire easily, which of course negatively affects my performance. Sometimes, I’ll have to tap out to catch my breath and chug some Gatorade.” —Scott M., 27

“I am a 7.5. Depends on my mood. Sometimes I am a 9.5. Sometimes I am a 5.” —Edward E., 35

“I would rate myself an 8 due to my enthusiasm, willingness to please, and…certain physical attributes. My insecurities in the bedroom are my weakness, often stopping me from taking control or being adventurous.” —Silvestre A., 25

“I’d say 7. I have good days and bad days.” —Chris L., 40

“I really get after the oral because my tongue has better stamina than my respiratory system and because, quite frankly, I enjoy doing it. I feel like it should be a prerequisite to most sexual sessions.” —Scott M., 27

“Uh, not to get too graphic, but I use my thumb and index finger rubbing inside and outside of the woman’s V. I guess I learned it through reading a sex column…the one in the back of The Onion!” —Edward E., 35

“I don’t really have a go-to, although using my hands when the girl is on top is always a crowd-pleaser, which I surprisingly learned from a Maxim magazine back in high school. I’m a sappy guy, so my favorite position is the spooning position, with the whole hands intertwined and copious amounts of necking. It maximizes pleasure, as well as intimacy.” —Silvestre A., 25

“It’s embarrassing, but I tend to stick with the same moves. It’s not so much a move, but a position. I like it when she’s lying on her stomach and I’m on top of her and we’re really close together.” —Chris L., 40

“I don’t have a girlfriend, but I asked the last woman I had sex with how I measured up, and she said I made her face tingle multiple times. So I’m going to go ahead and high-five myself about that.” —Scott M., 27

“My girlfriend probably thinks I am a solid 5!” —Edward E., 35

“I don’t have a girlfriend at the moment.” —Silvestre A., 25

“I’d say a 7 also, but it’d be great if she gave me a 10.” —Chris L., 40